Embracing Menopause, Together

Many have found themselves waking in the middle of the night, stepping quietly into the living room, only to see their wife—or mother—standing in the dark, drinking cold water in large, desperate gulps. Her cheeks are flushed. She’s sweating, restless, and uncomfortable.

A woman’s body is like nature’s clock. It moves with the rhythm of the moon, its tides flowing in and out through the womb. Then, when the time is right, the tides begin to recede—and one day, they stop. Menopause often arrives around the age of forty-nine, but for many women, symptoms begin much earlier, even in their early forties.

Until the 1990s, women’s menopause received little attention. Our mothers and grandmothers endured it silently, privately, without support or understanding. Today, thankfully, the conversation has begun to change. While menopause is not a life-threatening condition, it is a powerful and often painful passage in a woman’s life—one that deserves empathy, attention, and care.

Puberty announces itself with the arrival of menstruation, driven by female hormones. Menopause, in turn, marks the gradual decline and eventual end of this hormonal rhythm. As it approaches, the symptoms follow a pattern: difficulty sleeping, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, dry skin, thinning bones, joint pain, and even urinary leakage. The mind, too, begins to shift—concentration slips, memory falters. A woman who once prepared a handkerchief every morning might suddenly forget. A partner who never missed a birthday or anniversary may overlook a date that once meant everything.

What can be done?

Many women visit gynecologists or psychiatrists and are prescribed medication. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is the most common route. But it is not without risks. Few fully understand them. In fact, hormone therapy before menopause has not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). And studies show that long-term hormone use—over ten years—may raise the risk of fatal breast cancer by 43%.

Should one undergo hormone therapy or not? The answer remains unclear. Even in traditional Korean medicine, opinions differ. What is clear, however, is that treating the symptoms alone is not enough. We must look deeper—to the roots. Women who accept menopause as a natural life transition tend to suffer less, even when their symptoms are the same. Those who resist it—who fear aging and cling to a younger version of themselves—often struggle more. And this is not exclusive to women. Men, too, must face the passing of time with grace.

Nature teaches us: a sprout grows into a strong tree, with thick leaves, vibrant flowers, and rich fruit. When its season ends, it does not resist. It steps aside, humbly and wisely, making space for the next generation. It gives back with dignity. So too must we. When we accept the seasons of life—not just in our minds, but deep within our hearts—we find peace in transition.

There are many ways to move through this phase without relying on artificial solutions. Exercise together as a couple. Share fresh, natural meals instead of processed foods. Take hikes with your children. Take quiet pride in a life well lived. These things heal in ways medicine cannot.

Whatever you do, do not blame your wife for no longer being the same. Do not turn away. Instead, choose to see her through the gentle eyes of nature. Walk beside her, not ahead of her, and face this season together. Your love will deepen in ways you never expected. And above all, remember this: every relationship is a mirror—reflecting not just the other person, but also ourselves.

Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova on Unsplash